I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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