some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize