Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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