I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
