Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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