hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
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