"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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