And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
