Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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