I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
he was CRYING into my vagina
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
