Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
