There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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