I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize