i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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