im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
