Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
