she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
