how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
