remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
