He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
