bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
whose parrot is this?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
