In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize