when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
