My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
