Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
