when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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