But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Randomize
