im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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