shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
