i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
