New low: just hacked my moms facebook
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
