I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize