At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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