Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
