just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
