So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He called his prostate his "boner button".
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
