Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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