I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize