im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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