My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
