Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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