3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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