My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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