At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
