a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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