we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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