I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize