Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
