he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
