umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
It's never too late to be topless.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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