After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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