I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
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