she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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