It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize