Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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