4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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