Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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