there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
