Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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