If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
