Me. At least after what I've been through.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
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