By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
