There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
