I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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