I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
