There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
