I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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