North Korea, Best Korea!
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize