My boss' voice literally gives me gas
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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